Honeybee*Hill

We had been busy visiting with Aaron’s mom all week — Sulivan’s Grammy (or Grr — as he likes to call her). And Wednesday we were preparing for a big send-off dinner of gnocchi with sauteed garden veggies, fig and orange goat cheese bruschetta and blueberry tart, when Joanne (Grr) noticed something… funny in Freyja’s diaper. That is, she noticed a diaper full of blood. It was still early in the afternoon, so I called Freyja’s pediatrician and they were able to see her right away. She had been throwing up after every feeding for the past few days, and I just figured it was some kind of reflux until I saw the bloody diaper — but our pediatrician said that it was much more severe than she was used to seeing for just an allergic reaction. She advised us to take her to the emergency room at Riley Children’s Hospital in Indianapolis (which is about an hour and a half away) to see a pediatric gastrointestinal specialist.

It seemed like a pain and it wasn’t at all how we planned to spend our last evening with Joanne in town, but Aaron and I ran home real quick to pick up some extra diapers. We left Sullivan happy with his Grammy and drove to Indy. We honestly figured we’d be there for an hour or two — have some out-patient tests run and then go home.

Long story short — we ended up staying overnight. They wanted to run all kinds of tests on her and each time they decided to do another test, it took an hour for them to get around to doing it — and then another hour of waiting around for the results. Aaron left around 11 p.m. or midnight and I stayed with Freyja. I was in an emergency room cubicle from around seven p.m. to 4:30 a.m. the next day, when they finally decided they needed to admit her to the infant unit. That whole time all they did was put her on an IV, take four vials of blood — twice because the first round of blood tests didn’t work right — and run two ex rays. Once we got a room I was able to doze in a more comfortable chair on and off for a few hours.

Aaron came back up with Sullivan around 11 a.m. By that time they were nearly ready to do an upper GI test. All the tests were coming back inconclusive. Anatomically, she was perfectly fine. By 4 p.m. Thursday, the doctors determined that it was a severe allergic reaction to something in my breastmilk. They advised we put her on formula till her gut stopped bleeding. In the meanwhile I should cut out all dairy and dairy-derivatives. If that doesn’t work we can try soy, wheat, eggs and nuts.

I felt so awful because I didn’t realize how dehydrated she was until we got to the hospital. And it was either watch her throw up and pass blood or put her on formula and fill her belly with something that wouldn’t make her wretch or bleed internally, you know? So that’s what we did. She was feeling kind of crappy yesterday, but today she’s much better.

I’ve been off diary since Wednesday (I just happened to not eat any Wednesday and Thursday while at the hospital). I’ve been able to breastfeed her a little bit, but we’ve had to supplement with the bottle because my supply is so diminished already. I also don’t want to overwhelm her little tummy, so she’s mostly getting a bottle. I have all kinds of emotional roller-coaster feelings about this, so I’m going to kindly request that no one make comments about my decision to put her on the bottle. I honestly feel guilty enough about what happened, but also so grateful that she’s happy and feeling better now.

Cutting out dairy has rendered me effectively a vegan. I won’t be able to eat the gnocchi and Alfredo that we had planned — and tonight I had to make my blueberry tart dairy-free, which was really no fun at all. I really love cheese pizza, so that will be hard for me. Aaron picked up some Earth Balance and some soy milk for me. It’s all just really depressing. If her allergy continues, I’m not sure I’m willing to give up wheat or soy — so we’d probably just keep her on the bottle. Luckily I do have some experience with vegan cooking. It won’t be that bad, I just have to re-train myself like I did when I went veg so many years ago. I also have to read all the ingredients on all prepared foods because her allergy is very severe. Oiy!

While toting around a crabby baby, we did some gardening yesterday and this was our harvest:

Sullivan is doing well. He’s really missing his Grammy, but we’re actually heading to the Poconos to visit her next week!

He says so many things now and likes to tell me how it is. We can sing the ABCs and the “If you’re happy and you know it” song. He can count to six and he’s learning colors. He’s been such a good big brother and he even thinks  “Freyja is nice” (though the other day he did call her a vacuum, which in Sullivan’s world is the most terrible thing ever).

Somewhere between reading Don Quixote and dealing with a sick bebe, I managed to work up this little girl. She only took probably two or three hours total, but I have to work in ten-minute blocks. I think I like crochet so much because it doesn’t require a lot of set-up, tear-down and clean up, like sewing does. I can leave my yarn and a hook in a basket and pick it up whenever I have a few minutes. This pattern is from an etsy seller Shop AmyGurumi. Here’s a hint: follow her on twitter for sales on the patterns!

I’m behind on sending etsy orders out and I think I’ve got a swap package or two that needs to go out. Hopefully I will get caught up before we go out of town. Hopefully Freyja gets better and I don’t have to deal with anymore emergency room visits. Hopefully I can figure out a way to use up all that zucchini (and do it without butter or cheese). Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully. That’s how I operate these days.